MUSSELS & CLAMS

Mussels and clams and clams and fish,
I don’t even like this dish.

But the one I call my man,
He is really quite a fan.

Since marriage is a compromise,
I make the mussels I despise.

Apron and heels are quite enough,
To add a smile is just too tough.

As I open up the clam,
I slice my finger. Hellshi*damn!

The kitchen smells, I’m feeling glacial,
Open the pot to a steamed fish facial.

Now my blood is boiling hot,
Curses on these clams I bought!

My hair is limp, I smell like chum,
But there’s no way I’ll succumb.

These sea-things are at MY command,
Now I’ve got the upper hand.

Buttered, spiced and brothified,
By my directions they’ll abide.

And when I’m done I’ll choke some down,
Even though they bring a frown.

Just so I’ll have victory,
Over those things from the sea.

Baited by the fish no longer,
Freshened up and feeling stronger,

A steaming bowl I do serve,
To my man who has the nerve,

To say he has no appetite.
Now I’m ready for a fight.

I take him down like clam and mussel,
No match for me we start to tussle.

Forget about that “give and take,”
His own damned dinner he can make!

RECIPE

1 lb. mussels

1 lb. clams

1 halibut steak

4 slices thick cut bacon

3 cloves garlic

2 tsp. chili pepper flakes

3 T. butter

2 tsp. salt

2 1/2 cups chicken/fish stock

1 cup tomato juice or 1 can diced tomatoes

parsley for garnish

Soak mussels and clams for 15 minutes in water with 1 T. salt.

Brush halibut with olive oil and seasoned salt. Bake in  400 degree oven for 10-12 minutes.

While halibut is cooking, cut bacon into small chunks. Saute until crispy. Take the bacon out of the pan. To the  remaining bacon fat, add 3 T. of butter, garlic and chili pepper flakes. Saute for 3 minutes. Add stock and tomato juice and bring to a boil. Add salt sparingly as both bacon and stock have a high sodium content.

Drain and rinse the mussels and clams. Add them to the pan and cover for 4-5 minutes or until the shells have all opened. Discard all shells that have not opened. Cut medium pieces of halibut and gently add them to the pan. Cook 2 more minutes.

Ladle into bowls and top with bacon and parsley. Serve with crunchy french or sourdough bread. Serves 4.